Subject: INSTRUCTIONS In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get t hose 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to..what)? On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. " (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a >chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Redneck Special Forces:
The latest strategy to drive the Taliban out of the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in a team of Redneck Special Forces. Billy Bob, Bubba and Cooter are being sent in with rifles and told three things: 1. The limit is two. 2. The season ended last weekend. 3. They taste just like chicken. That should just about do it